I've written from Florida before. No, before that. After that. Yeah, then.
I'm here to take care of my mother. Not much of a story in that, but I did want to tell you about Gary.
My mother lives in a swamp next to a creek; she has a pond and an abandoned swimming pool. [Florida residents will not need to read the rest of the story.] Gary is an alligator, maybe 30 inches long, and he is squatting in the swimming pool. Don't worry, though - there is an Alligator Hotline whose sole purpose is to keep Gary safe and well-cared-for.
There appear to be several resources for people nurturing alligators in their pools. Florida Wildlife Commission, the game warden, law enforcement, private trappers. The thing that isn't obvious is that all these agencies funnel alligator issues back to the Alligator Hotline. Here's the transcript of my actual* conversation with them:
"Is he safe? Are you irritating him in any way? He's good? Okay, then, we recommend that you keep all your pets on a leash. Your mom? Well, make her aware that there's an alligator, so she doesn't disrupt his habitat."
"We'll refer this to our biologist, who, unfortunately is not in the office this year - yes, it's an egg count in Guatemala. So, we need you to send a picture (proof of life, you know!) every day with a newspaper in the frame, k? An email from the alligator containing information only he would know should be sent for approval to our director."
"No, sorry, there's actually no money available for alligator subsidies. If you adopt one, you'll have to accept financial responsibility independently. Yes, they actually do prefer live meals - you are well-read, Ma'am! - so that will have to be figured into the overall expense. Shall I go ahead and ring you up for one alligator at this time? Oh, it's perfectly normal to have buyer's remorse. Don't worry - you will adapt beautifully! Be sure to write!"
In other news...heck, there's no other news. Just me, my mother, and Gary. I'd tell you another story, but each anecdote ends "...and then I ran into my bedroom and screamed into a pillow..."
*not actual
Update: he was over 4' long - too big to rehome.
11 comments:
Dang all that water is like a handwritten invitation to the Alligator's Ball!!! I'm nervous a good rain will bring one to my yard.
I don’t really like him😹♥️ But I’m going to name him omg. At first I was like, she’s trying to make us jealous she has an alligator, but now I’m sure of it.
You are so brave! Gary never stood a chance.
Brenda, this property borders a creek, as well. There's a lovely pond out front. The wranglers told me to expect others. :O
LOL, thanks Dallas. You helped a lot.
Could you, would you, with a duck? Give us an update?
How's your mom? Is Gary still guarding you from interlopers? Outerlopers?
Mike, I'm back in (relatively) arid New Mexico these days. Gary met his destiny in someone's deep-fryer. My mom and her husband are in an assisted-living facility.
Whay year is your Prius? Steve, Michelle's brother, wants to gift her with a new car. I'm encouraging him toward the Prius C. I've not been in a "C" but the earlier versions like yours had more front leg room than later models.
Spud is an '04 (2nd generation). I haven't researched newer models, but from someone who did, 2016 was a stand-out year. I imagine the C is a little tight for camping, but Michelle doesn't want to do that, anyway, amirite?
Thank you.
Yes, she isn't interested in camping...just economy. But you bring up a salient point...she's not getting any smaller. Karen's (in NV) 2005 is quite roomy, but Steve, being who he is, will want something newer. More research is needed.
I state for the record that I made NO SUCH SALIENT POINT about anyone's personal dimensions. Comfort, however, IS an important point.
Yes! You're absolutely right. And I stand corrected. Michelle is not interested in camping. It's true, however, that I have used one or the other of the Honda FITS when Phoebe was in for repairs. The 2008 required some modification to make it work. The C's smaller dimensions might preclude it from double duty as a camp-mobile.
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