Nothing to say, and all day to say it. (Florida to Albuquerque)

I spent two weeks in Florida; improbably I managed to take not one photograph. My mom asked me to come out to help with a health issue, but within a week she had already resolved it. That left me pretty free to socialize with new friends, old friends, "new" relatives, and long-lost family.

This is not family. It's just a cleverly-positioned photo.
[Bo and Danny]

Have you done any of the DNA testing available? I just did 23andMe. I like genealogy, and this has given me more hours of fun than a Slinky. The service provides levels of privacy (I chose None: My Life is an Open Blog), and you can contact people who share DNA with you. Not like Craigslist - this is wholesome fun, buddy.

A new cousin threw her husband and three kids in the van and drove for three hours to meet us. She was adopted, and we were the first genetic relatives she had met. It was lovely and poignant.

Chica and her tongue.

People drove for hours to see me. That gets me in the feels. I was painfully social for a solid week, but each meeting was so rich that it was worth this introvert's discomfort.

I spent my birthday at the edge of the continent with my best friend from high school, Tammy. We have the rare friendship that picks up where we leave it off. 

This is not me at the beach.
[Rio Grande rafters in Truth or Consequences.]

I still travel lately, but at the end of the trip I sleep inside. Today I'm in Albuquerque, in a house with seven remotes next to the TV. Thank goodness I have internet. Tomorrow I'll be in TorC with a book.

Elephant Butte Lake from the other side. No, the other side.

Water levels in Elephant Butte are 14 feet higher than this time last year. These two shots are not comparative - they were taken the same evening.

Truth or Consequences is a snowbird destination, so by June things are pretty quiet. The bookstore, which serves as a social hub, is closed for four months. Friends have left for their northern homes (mostly Minnesota). The odd traveler is from Wisconsin, and I miss her.

Q: Why did this guy have to move along?
A: He was parked in a toad-away zone.

New friends Luanne, Lisa, and Sandy met me for lunch to talk about their RVing launch plans. I see from Facebook that Luanne finally got beyond the Florida state line! It doesn't matter which state it is, your hometown exerts gravitational pull that can keep you immobile for a lifetime.

Mew West.
[Willow]

My cousin, Joe, and I figured out we last saw each other 50 years ago. We hadn't changed a bit.

There is nothing to report about travel, love, or finances. Still, there's a fecundity of mind and spirit, I hope. I'm gestating great things, and not just that botfly larva under my hat.

Guess where we are?

Not Lake City!

We made it about 250 miles today, which seems plenty. I would have settled for the Live Oak WalMart just to break out of the gravitational pull.

I have nothing to report, except that there's nothing to report. I offer some photos for your amazement, disgust, and identification.

I said skate egg sac.  Or skate reverse-direction.

I said "KIYIYIYIYI!"  Yes or no?

Box jellyfish?  I don't know.  I just don't know!

The cats did well. They all found a place on the bed while we rolled, then ran out as soon as the engine quieted.

Lake Ponchartrain by tomorrow evening?

Always going, never gone.

We spent all weekend goodbye-ing then forgot to leave. More beach time, because Annie indulges my every whim.  We've been so busy not leaving that I haven't had the energy to yoo-hoo.

This was my cousin, Jennifer.

 "See?  Guantanamo security isn't so ... "

We still don't understand the mystery of Woodhenge.

The next day:

I call him "Big Bill."

I call him "Jack Webb."

He is not an albatross, but it's good luck to photograph him. 

It's super-good luck to be photographed with a pelican, whose beak can hold more than his belican.

It's always good luck to hang out with my friend, Tammy.

"Faster-than-light neutrinos?  I'm skeptical."

"Yet, relativity is no longer orthodoxy."

"Let's just enjoy the van der Waal forces."

"See, Roxi?  Hydrogen bonding!"

"Oooh, look!  Water!  Does this hat make my butt look big?"

Later that evening, my old friend (John) and his wife (Kim) made us a delicious Thai dinner.  Yessir, we really Thaied one on.  They live on a pond and have ducks who knock at their back door.  This was one night they had Ducks knocking on their front door, too.  John and Kim, it was a pleasure and WHY OH WHY didn't I take your pictures?  The conversation was too interesting and I forgot.   I blame you.

Here's a thought about anxiety.  If you don't full-time, you might think there's nothing to be anxious about.  But, some ducks are naturally anxiety-prone and will find things to worry about even when waters are calm and bugs are plentiful.  John showed me a yoga posture that helps with anxiety by forcing deep, diaphragmatic breathing.   It started helping immediately.  Yay!  Ducks don't like to paddle constantly.  I found this page that describes it, but if you've just ordered your senior coffee in McDonald's and they forgot your cream, easing the stress with the crocodile pose is going to get you more attention than you paid for.  Just notice how your breath flows, and breathe deeply wherever you are.  You'll unclench faster than you can say Dr. Young's Ideal Rectal Dilators.

We tried to leave Lake City yesterday, but our caliper stuck and we didn't make it to the city limits.  We used Lamb's Automotive, and we liked them a lot.  Took the Big Duck in this morning for more maintenance we've been putting off.  While we're here, you know.

It is our earnest and honest intention to leave Florida on Thursday.

They thought I'd never amount to much.

Mom:  Annie, Roxanne is really lucky to have someone like you who can do anything.


[silence]


And, you're really lucky to have someone ... so docile.


Oh yeah, that's right!  I contribute, baby!



I ran down to the Busy Bee for some standby orange juice. I noticed something unfamiliar tucked into a corner, and I thought of Andra (The Accidental Cootchie Mama - look for her in print soon).  I knew in an instant that I couldn't leave the Deep South without Cheerwine fueling my mitochondria.

My mom:  "She'll take pictures of anything."  Yeah, that's what Ansel Adams' mom said, too.

I graduated high school, more or less, in Fernandina Beach.  I graduated high school, essentially, in Fernandina Beach.  I graduated high school!  I did it, technically, in Fernandina Beach.  I was completing my first year of college while fulfilling the requirements for my HS diploma, which meant I didn't really hang out in Fernandina in my senior year, only my junior.  Thirty years later, I emailed my class president to ask him to invite me to reunions.   I'm not going, but a girl wants to be asked.

I told you that part so I could tell you this:  we went to FB today so I could "show Annie around."  Except, nothing was familiar.  My trailer park home was a Lowe's.  That's where I learned to put a penny on the tracks and watch it get flattened.  That's where we all had to coordinate wash days so the well didn't go dry.  That's where we'd cross the two-lane to wait for the bus, staying as far back as we could so the logging trucks didn't take us out in the dark like one did my classmate two stops away.  She was an identical twin and I don't remember her name.

Annie's Behind™


Annie's Behind™ the World's Biggest Anchor Ever Attached to a Shrimp Boat that Doesn't Exist Anymore.   Before becoming the Dread Pirate Roberts, he was merely the Best-Avoided Pirate Roberts, mainly because he was a shrimp boat captain and always smelled like an appetizer.  In frustration, and desperate to move on and accomplish a dream, B-AP Roberts cut the line, dropped the anchor to the harbor floor, and let the trawler drift out to sea.  Almost immediately, he realized his mistake and swam out to the runaway boat.  He began what is believed to be the first RV (River Vessel) modification and converted it into a frigate.  He could sometimes be heard from the shore screaming "Frigate!" when he wanted to put down the anchor he used to have.

That's what the sign should have said, but signs lie.

Post Office

Not the Post Office

Blogging has come a long way from the time we bloviated on stone with our chisels and ran down to our neighbor's hut to ask him to follow us.  Pictures go a long way toward conveying a feeling, but I need Smell-o-Vision to really, REALLY take you to Fernandina Beach.  This is the best I could do.

It is our earnest and honest intention to leave Florida on Monday.  

Driving Miss Lazy: learn to drive a big RV

Annie mentioned that it might be appropriate for an RV-centered blog to go ahead and talk about RV-related things.  I don't wanna go to school! The dog ate my homework!  I don't feel well!  I have a fever! I threw up all night!  I missed the bus.


Fine.  Here's some stuff:

We both attended the Driver Confidence Course held at Lazy Days in Seffner, FL.  It's near Tampa.  I've never driven the Duck [looks abashed], although we agreed I should know how.  Annie admits to being a control-freak, and I admit to being lazy;  we're a match made in Dysfunction Junction.

Barney was an excellent teacher.  He was comfortable with the subject, experienced behind the wheel and behind the lectern.  We were in the classroom about 75 minutes, but it seemed much less, and we met back in the afternoon for some white-knuckle road training.  Each student got about 10 minutes behind the Big Wheel, a 39' Fleetwood diesel pusher.  We ran through an ever-changing obstacle course (people kept moving vehicles, appearing on bicycles, parking cars, throwing themselves in front of us.  The runaway baby carriage was overkill, if you ask me).

There was good advice about

• how to back up with and without a partner
• how to mark your mirrors so they always provide the best information
• how to navigate a turn
• how to know where your corners and turning bits are
• why you should never back up if you can't see your wife

Social commentary:  Watching these RVing couples reminded me of an important thing.  It's better to be married to a woman.  Women, sorry about that.  Men, high-five!  

Yes, I see the smudge.

Here are the videos. If you can't get to a class, these videos will be very useful. Go ahead and watch them. You should watch them. WATCH THEM.

Daisy leis

I was Miss Roxanne-ed in the doctor's office this morning. It's Fried Green Tomatoes here every day.

I can tell you, now that we've been allowed to leave the county, that we stayed at Country Inn and Suites in Seffner, and it was the best hotel experience we've ever had. AARP discount, and it just got better from there. Walking distance to the Lazy Days classroom and to food. Free full breakfast in the morning and COOKIES at night. Fresh coffee or tea all day long. Very comfortable, and very quiet.

Roxanne, you scold, why didn't you just take the Duck down and park in their campground? Oh, way to rock the disapproval. The hotel cost $60/night, and the campground $33. We would have spent $200 in gas for the trip, and Annie would have sailor-talked all the way through Tampa on I-275.

On the other hand, we were free to go here before check-in:

Clearwater Beach

sand dollar

shell phone

Why I oughta...

nyuk! nyuk! nyuk!

A wonderful bird is the pelican;
his beak can hold more than his belican.
He can take in his beak
food enough for a week.
But I'm damned if I see how the helican.
~not Ogden Nash, 1910

Man who gets trapped by his own net is in seine.  

Holes!  Current!  Rocks!  Stop - you had me at NING