Always going, never gone.

We spent all weekend goodbye-ing then forgot to leave. More beach time, because Annie indulges my every whim.  We've been so busy not leaving that I haven't had the energy to yoo-hoo.

This was my cousin, Jennifer.

 "See?  Guantanamo security isn't so ... "

We still don't understand the mystery of Woodhenge.

The next day:

I call him "Big Bill."

I call him "Jack Webb."

He is not an albatross, but it's good luck to photograph him. 

It's super-good luck to be photographed with a pelican, whose beak can hold more than his belican.

It's always good luck to hang out with my friend, Tammy.

"Faster-than-light neutrinos?  I'm skeptical."

"Yet, relativity is no longer orthodoxy."

"Let's just enjoy the van der Waal forces."

"See, Roxi?  Hydrogen bonding!"

"Oooh, look!  Water!  Does this hat make my butt look big?"

Later that evening, my old friend (John) and his wife (Kim) made us a delicious Thai dinner.  Yessir, we really Thaied one on.  They live on a pond and have ducks who knock at their back door.  This was one night they had Ducks knocking on their front door, too.  John and Kim, it was a pleasure and WHY OH WHY didn't I take your pictures?  The conversation was too interesting and I forgot.   I blame you.

Here's a thought about anxiety.  If you don't full-time, you might think there's nothing to be anxious about.  But, some ducks are naturally anxiety-prone and will find things to worry about even when waters are calm and bugs are plentiful.  John showed me a yoga posture that helps with anxiety by forcing deep, diaphragmatic breathing.   It started helping immediately.  Yay!  Ducks don't like to paddle constantly.  I found this page that describes it, but if you've just ordered your senior coffee in McDonald's and they forgot your cream, easing the stress with the crocodile pose is going to get you more attention than you paid for.  Just notice how your breath flows, and breathe deeply wherever you are.  You'll unclench faster than you can say Dr. Young's Ideal Rectal Dilators.

We tried to leave Lake City yesterday, but our caliper stuck and we didn't make it to the city limits.  We used Lamb's Automotive, and we liked them a lot.  Took the Big Duck in this morning for more maintenance we've been putting off.  While we're here, you know.

It is our earnest and honest intention to leave Florida on Thursday.

Sightseeing, if you happen to like that sort of thing.

“Don’t write because you want to say something, write because you have something to say.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

"Mr. Fitzgerald -- I believe that is how he spells his name -- seems to believe that plagiarism begins at home." - Zelda Sayre Fitzgerald





I went out alone to see some sights, and some sites. Here's some stuff:

Falling Creek Church, Lake City, Florida

Originally, separate doors for men and women

Words and facts

In the pulpit - how cheeky!

"Studies" have shown that criminal mischief declines when a cardboard cut-out of a policeman is visible.  This church is open to visitors without a guide, and the urge to be naughty must arise from time to time.    The eyes on this thing follow you around the room, whispering Thou Shalt Not ... carve your initials into the wall ... throw your beer bottle through a window ... drop a poop on the pew ... Another historic building just a few yards down the road was arsonized, and I don't blame this congregation for being nervous when they have to leave their doors unlocked.

A grab-bag of cute and not-cute. Your standards apply.

"Oh, just a little ducky, eh?"  Step away from the bug or he will CUT YOU.

I am looking fine today!

Eyes front, mister.  This blog is rated Duck-13.

These are the Muscovy ducks I showed you in the Spring.  They loiter in the park, trash-talking and hitting people up for spare bread.  I say bravo ducks! for living life on your own terms.

I wanted to call this post The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, but who's to say?  Urban decay is bad, and ugly, but I dig it.  Muscovy ducks are "hegemonically unattractive," but whose hegemony are you going to believe?  They are possibly an ancestral duck species, and hanging in is beautiful.  

Mea culpa ("the fault of the duck")

Snarky Duck couldn't appear this morning due to burning shame and a hangover.  She asked me to read this prepared statement:

I apologize for getting my paté in a wad.  I paddled around in Lake DeSoto, watched some waterfowl porno with free wifi from The Way Café, and had a few bugs while I chilled my tail feathers.  Snarky Duck needed an attitude adjustment, and I got one from my friend, DownWing Nicole.

Lookit, Snarky Duck can't be trussed!  It's like Patsy said:

Oh, the wayward Duck is a restless Duck
A restless duck that yearns to wander
And I was born to run amok
Run amok with the wayward Duck.

In a downy nest in a semi-truck
I spent my chicklet days
And I guess my youth as a trav'ling Duck
Made me a slave to my wand'ring ways. 

Oh, the wayward Duck is a restless Duck
A restless duck that yearns to wander
And I was born to run amok
Run amok with the wayward Duck.

Oh I met a duck in a border town
I vowed I wouldn't migrate
Tho' I tried my best to settle down
She's livin' with a tired old drake.

Oh, the wayward Duck is a restless Duck
A restless duck that yearns to wander
And I was born to run amok
Run amok with the wayward Duck.

Run amok with the wayward Duck.

Copyright 2011 Duck & Cline 

I hope we can put this behind us, but SD is flighty.

Bob, that's a good price for a magnum of wine you enjoy.  Duke, you are close enough for a cigar;  this is Oak Leaf merlot's trashy sister, Oak Leaf Sweet Red.  You know that New Yorkers are snooty about their wine, which is the main reason we left.

Judy and Merikay, this is a good place to be, and it's my job to enjoy myself while we're here.  While, Nina.  While.

Annie and I had a date night last night.  Reese's McFlurries and Glee in the public parking lot downtown. We sneaked home before midnight.  The people who work in the Lake City McDonald's are uncharacteristically pleasant and personable.  When I went inside to use their bathroom, I realized it was because they listen to 70's disco while they work.  You just can't be crabby singing Ring it!  Ring it! RingItRingIt!  Ahhh!  Try it right now, in case you're building up a snark.

I would like to enrich the Healthcare page, so if you have a resource to share, please leave a comment.  You can comment here or there, but why not do both?

Ugly Duck

Today's post is written by guest blogger, The Snarky Duck.  She scares me, and that's why I let her write.

Tomorrow will bring us up to four weeks in Lake City, Florida.  Here's why that's good:

• We are very comfortable
• Camphosts are generous with electricity
• Swimming pool
• Fresh fruit and vegetables from the garden
• Laundry facilities
• Sunshine
• Sunshine
• Sunshine
• Free parking
• My favorite wine costs $2.77.

Lake City has a cute downtown that's two blocks long.   It's perfect for a week's stay, because the quaint is still new when you roll out of town.  It also has a Food Lion, a Publix, a WalMart, a Lowe's, and Coke Icees. On Monday I went to the mall with nothing to shop for.


I've been here so long I've started thinking it would be fun to go to church.   

There is plenty of diversity.  There are pink people and there are brown people, and they are all Baptists.  

You know how you see some woman in a bikini, and she looks really good and then you notice the scary, irregular mole on her back?  That mole?  It's us. It doesn't fit in, and should be removed surgically.  You know how you see some guy in a Speedo?  That Speedo?  It's me.  Just barely holding in something no one wants to see.


There are good reasons for staying a while longer, and Annie will talk about them later, when Snarky Duck is drunk and happy.