Things you don't learn in school

The water in the pool is 90°F, something up with which we'll have to put.  I weigh about ten pounds in water, which is probably why my back hurts more when I get out.  I am a pool mammal.

[RUMBLE]

It rains most days now, for a little while, and there is always thunder.  Some of the cats are afraid of thunder (as I typed "afraid," Ellen began to claw at the sofa trapdoor).  That's because cats don't understand storms and are too dumb to be afraid of lightening.  I had a stepfather who reassured me by saying If you hear the thunder, it means you're still alive, which is true and stupid at the same time.

Annie has been working on the leak in the water tank (still, DW and Darlene).  She's down to the last thing she knows to try before there's nothing left but to replace the tank, so we're afraid to test it.

[THUNDER]

She also found a graywater valve cover that would allow us to dribble out through a cut-off garden hose onto the ground - if that were legal - instead of extending the slinky in a tell-tale sort of way.  Please note I am talking about gray water, not poop.  The Ducks do not endorse poopwater dumping onto the open ground except in certain circumstances, and the judge agreed to throw the case out if we immediately left the county.

[LIMB FALLING]

Annie fixed the drainage problem in the refrigerator with some ingenuity and saliva (her own).

I make jewelry more lately.  You know where to look.  If I could do that in the pool there would be no reason to leave other than to drain my gray water.

[CATS HEADING FOR STORM CELLAR]

I have always wondered why storm cellars in Kansas are separate from the house.  You'd think you'd want to have quick access without going outside.  I just figured it out.  Your house gets blown away, and being in a shallow open hole under it will have limited value.  Limited by how tight you can hold onto plumbing.  A hole in the ground covered by more ground would have to be safer, but that's the last place people go.

You do not have to watch PBS to learn something.

[ANNIE PUTTING ON HELMET]

We've been watching a lot of movies.  Blockbuster rents movies for 49¢ on Sunday during the summer, and Annie would rip those onto a computer to watch later if it were legal.  We used to go to the library on Saturdays, but Shannon recognizes us and talks gay to us for half an hour.  He hands us every gay-themed movie on the shelf, tells us the gay plot, tells us about his gay friends in Las Vegas, and tells us his church says gay is a sin.  We're the only gay people he knows here in Lake City;  we are exotic and exciting.   You've felt it, too.

[UNPLUGGING THE COMPUTER]

We go to the same fruit stand all the time, and now the men there give Annie extra fruit.  She's catnip.