Oh, boondockers. I think you'll like this.

And, not just in the polite Facebook way.

Marianne Edwards has just released her new Shunpiker's Guide: California Boondocking the Sierra Nevada Mountains and Coast. Ohboyohboyohboyohboy! That's right, the coast! Plus mountains! Two geological features in one instantly-downloadable book.





 
I've blogged adoringly about Marianne's guides before. I'm about to have done it again. Now there are six guides to choose from, but why choose? The more you buy, the cheaper they are. [... so I sez, "Load 'em on 'till they're free!"] And, check out these pictures.
To top off this excellent product, Marianne offers a 60-day money-back guarantee. No questions asked. She won't ask "Is the California coast still in its original wrapping?" or "Are you sure you didn't soil the Sierra Nevadas?" Nothing like that. Nope, just your money back. 
Also, when Marianne updates one of her guides, she sends you the updated version free. You've bought a lifetime of revisions for the price of one night at an overcrowded campground.
As before, I get nothing for saying these nice things about Marianne and her boondocking guides. But, buy them and Baby gets some new shoes.
 

Unplugged.

Roxanne, it has been rumored that you believe you have arranged a spectacular celestial display on your birthday. Is this true?

Yes, Perez, that's true.

No, I'm not Perez, I'm Ed from RV Blogger Digest Monthly.

It felt really important for me to give back to our blog readers. They're the reason we write. The reason we're even being interviewed for TMZ...

No, I'm...

...the reason we get up in the morning and stare at the sun.

That's not really a good...

That's why, instead of raking in presents this year, I am celebrating this prime-number birthday, 51, by giving our readers an...

Uh, 51 isn't actually...

...exclusive viewing of a solar eclipse. Because of limited funds, I have to restrict the viewing to the Yukon, the Northwest Passage, and Greenland.

No, I think...

So, if you happen to be in Albuquerque this Sunday, you are in for a treat! You could also witness my birthday gift to you, an annular (once a year) eclipse, over the Grand Canyon, but that seems prosaic.  That link that I said at first, you know, aich tee tee pee colon backslash backslash...

Yeah, you don't have to do that - we've got the link.

...that site has some good ideas about where to see it, if you happen to be a Good Luck Duck blog reader.

But, isn't it true that everyone in the path can see the eclipse?

Well, sure, if they want to crash my party. Look, I'm not stingy, and even if they can't be bothered to come check out the blog, yeah, let 'em look at the sky for all I care. Nevermind that I'm sacrificing two hours of solar power for this shindig.

Thanks so much for talking to me, and I...

Here's a cat:



Wow, nice, so I have to go...

Here's a fat cat:

 

Heh, that's great, I'll see myself out...

I'll see you at my party! Bring your #14 welder's glass! I'll fill it with sparkling cider.

Boondockers: you'll love this. Everyone else: you'll want to become boondockers.

I've been advertising these boondocking guides on the blog for years; you've stopped seeing them by now. We bought the one for Arizona - a toe in the sand - but haven't really needed it until we hit Sedona. WOW! You know I don't just go around saying "WOW!" for no good reason. These guides are a good reason.

Marianne and her husband spend half the year boondocking in the US Southwest, and have been skulking around finding the best spots. You 'dockers know there are public sites (I list them here) for finding free campsites, and they're pretty good, but those sites all let us down here. I don't blame the sites, I blame the April snowstorm that turned access roads into inaccessible roads. This is a job for Marianne!

Would you like to park here...

And wake up to this view of the valley?

Or, how about parking here...

  

 and walking a dozen steps to the creek?

 

We scouted out at least four sites yesterday, all from Marianne's guides, and I didn't find any of them on the online sites.

If you're intrigued, you can buy one guide of your choice for less than a night's stay at a crowded campground. If you're already sold on these guides, you can buy all five for less than two nights' stay at a crowded campground. 

They arrive instantly on PDF, and are very convenient to use. She tells you if your rig will fit in any site she reviews. She even provides location coordinates and descriptions of landmarks. She tells you about cool things to see nearby. It's the whole package.

Full disclosure: Marianne didn't give me anything to say "WOW!" No discount, no freebies, nothing. I am being enthusiastic for free. She will give me a generous commission if you buy from my links, which will make me say "WOW!" again.

Go ahead. Make me say "WOW!"

I guess it's where they dig up those dolls.

American Girl Mine boondocking.

This is precisely where we've been living for the past two weeks.  Really beautiful, windshield full of mountain and sky, periodic air shows.

Exit 164, one exit away, has good well water for $3/≤55 gallons, at the Shell station.  Go around behind,  next to the dump station.  Don't get these confused:  the dump station is the one that smells bad.

We're on our way to visit our friend Sue, and to stay a little while in her desert.  

Do you use a calendar?  Sometimes we get curious about the date or the day of the week, and our computer tells us that, but I forget things like what day did we empty the toilet?  or when did I start wearing this outfit?  That's why I think a calendar might be good.

We just went through 1000 yards of Hell.  Pretty this time of year.  East of Yuma on I8 is a short stretch of OH MY GOD SLOW DOWN where I squeezed out all excess moisture through my palms.  Palms.

Suggest at will.

We're leaving here (Ogilby Road area outside Yuma) and headed towards the Verde Valley (Sedona/Rimrock/Cottonwood).  It's over five hours, so naturally we'll want to give ourselves several days to get there.

Do you have a favorite boondocking spot between here and there that you'd share with us?  We'll leave it all tidy, promise.

I wanted to tell you about Sidewinder Road, off Ogilby Road.  The address is officially Winterhaven, CA, if you want to Google.  I won't look.  There are a lot of big, level, open sites along this road.  You can even spend fourteen days next to an archaeological site, and I mean NEXT TO.  When you turn onto Sidewinder from Ogilby, you are right at the busiest railroad crossing I have ever experienced.  Keep going down the road;  the further you go, the fainter the "whoo" at the crossing.

I like how this is so round without being perfect.

Take a quick look here.  We just walked in, even though it's most likely private property.

Or, check out American Girl Mine Road.  On the right, just past Sidewinder Road.  Same deal with the train;  keep on keepin' on until you get a decent distance from the train.  The difference between a raucous, rumbling railroad and a melancholy, lonesome whistle is at least a quarter mile.  After a while, American Girl Mine Road diverges from _____Road.  _____Road is your best bet for parking.  Stay left.  The further you go, the iffier your Verizon signal will be.  ATT?  Don't make us laugh.  No, do!  

Ogilby Road has a bunch of level sites of its own that go on for miles.  Pass the "fee area," like I have to tell you that.  We smirk and snort when we pass the people paying.  There aren't any amenities there, either.  Unless they're parking and not paying ... park on, dudes.

So, I'll be sitting up tonight waiting for your boondocking suggestions.   Annie is boiling me a pot of coffee right now.

Will Robinson didn't KNOW danger.

  Please.  You call this DANGER?  I face danger like this beforeWHOA!  I almost fell RIGHT IN!

There are open mine pits all over the place here.  This miner was considerate.

Here are directions:

Walk toward the ocotillo, then turn right.

Danger from wildlife is a constant feature of our adventurous life.

When Topiaries Turn Their Back on You!  next on FOX.
[Hint:  never turn your back on them.]

  

You can't read this.  It says
Pre-Columbian Indian Trail.  Please keep off trail
 so that it may remain for future visitors.

   It was a different trail!  Honest!  This was the Post-Columbian trail not protected by a fence nor prohibited in any way.

Imperial Dunes (Glamis)

These are taken from the Hugh T. Osborne Overlook.  There is designated 14-day dispersed camping in this parking lot, and you are ON THE DUNES.  I think it's free here;  there are no amenities unless you count 'round-the-clock tear-your-doors-off wind that keeps things fresh. Also no iron rangers.

If you Google "Glamis dispersed camping," it will indicate North and South Dunes Glamis campground, but that's not this.  Those are long-term, dusty parking lots filled with other RVers.  You could stay here at the Overlook, without a lot of other RVers, and get the dust and wind for free.  Spectacular view, but I'm not sure how long it would take for the driven sand to take the canvas right off your tent, if you know what I mean.  After half an hour, Annie announced she had sand in her pockets, and I knew what she meant.

This is one of the top 100 things I've ever seen.  You should see it, too.  ATVs are rented right down the road in the "town" of Glamis, if that's your style.

Old Ogilby.  The guy on the right is taking pictures.  Meta!

This hole has garbage in it already!  Get the bags!

This was the former Ogilby schoolhouse.

Ogilby Cemetery

I think this completes the things I wanted to do here, and just in time.  The wind is blowing in some Big Hot, and we're going where it's Not.

Lower your standards.

You know how I like to present thoughtful, intelligent, well-developed posts.  A tasty, full-course meal of profundity and visual delights. A mixed-media buffet. Tonight's special is the Swanson salisbury steak dinner of blog posts.  May I recommend Walmart's boxed Sweet Red to go with that?

Lunch.  So beautiful!  Thanks, Annie.

Imperial Dunes.  

What is this tree?

This is that.

That was this.  Plank road over the dunes.

 

I just liked it.

I didn't like this.

We walked a long way specifically to get here, but I got the willies.  High tension power lines snapping over our heads, and this thing in our sights.  I fought the urge to run.  RUN!  ME!  Such was the extent of my discomfort.

Ahh. Much better.  Check out that road.

It may be hard to tell, but this is freakin' deep.  Each dot on the floor is a giant sequoia grove.  Or some kind of bush.

I hope the mashed potatoes were to your liking, and that you weren't too upset by the succotash mixing in with your apple cobbler.  

Boondocking in California with the Africanized bees

We saw our first not-really-a-scorpion!  He was under a rock, looking like the tiniest lobster never seen, and we saw him.  Can't wait to see my first hardly-a-rattler.

Really a lizard.  Photos courtesy of Annie.
 Desert iguana.

"I am big.  It's the pictures that got small."

 ... and then I thought lentils, but lentils take too long to cook so then I said "Marge, I'll just make a nice vegetable soup," and she says to me, "Hildy, Arlene is already making a vegetable soup;  can you make that artichoke casserole..." Eldridge, it's like you're not even walking with me!  ... so I said, "Sure, but I like to get the artichokes that are soaked in brine without the citric acid, which they have at Kroger..." Eldridge, okay, that's not funny - where did you go?

Oh good, they're expecting us.

Modern ruins.

So glad to get this out of my shoe.

This has the texture and heft of Fimo.  What are they?  Probably not rocks.

Definitely rocks.

Without me there wouldn't be any Paramount Studios.

We're close enough to a railroad track to hear faint "whoos" every now and then.  Pleasant.  If you look at this area on Google Maps, you can see the blue tint in the ground, and we can see it up close.  Lots of pale blue rocks here, and few vivid blue-green chunks I'm holding above.

AFRICANIZED BEES!!!  MAYBE!

They're definitely bees.  Goldmine bees, which are meaner than junkyard dogs.  You can't see them in this picture.  Excuse me for not getting a close-up, Norma Desmond.  Annie says "Africanized bees" to keep me out of trouble.  Candy aisle?  Africanized bees!  The deep end of the pool has Africanized bees.  Don't touch that knife! - Africanized bees.

Here are some tips about killer bees from the USDA:

• RUN away quickly. Do not stop to help others.
• Continue to RUN.
• Bees are attracted to movement.
• Do not jump into water!
• Do not flail your arms.
• Drop your baklava.  
• Keep RUNNING.
• Never stop running.
• While running and being stung, attempt to bargain with the bees, promising never to eat honey or "royal jelly," whatever that is.
• Do not mention John Belushi.

Prospecting: Eureka!

This article got us all excited and ready to dig geodes!  Yeah!  88° - no problem - we've got water, snacks, a shovel, and a bucket for all the geodes we find!

Things this article left out that you may want to know:

• 88° in full desert sun is kinda hot, no matter what we've told you
• digging in full desert sun is not for the faint of heart
• we're faint of heart

As we were told later, "digging geodes" is not just appreciating their rockin' coolness.  You're supposed to DIG HOLES UP TO YOUR WAIST.  I'm sorry, I'm not signing for that.  Besides that, do you know what else digs holes up to your waist?  Me neither, which is why I'm not doing it.

In case you want to, let me show you where we were first, and then where we were.  The original article gives good directions, but it doesn't tell you that you must have a high-clearance vehicle to get where we were.  The Prius wasn't high-clearance until we hit the first three washes.  Now we can Flintstone almost anywhere.

The truth is that Annie finessed those washed-out roads like a pro.  Now she's shopping for a Jeep.

But, none of this tells you how exquisite the California desert is.  I could have lain there in a scorpion/rattlesnake/tarantula-proof hammock all day.  

   

Annie, c'mon!  I'm kidding!  I'm getting up!  Wait for me!

Ocotillo blooms

Ocotillo feeling rather pleased with itself.

New cactus.  Well, new-to-me;  I can't afford a new new cactus.

When you come to a fork in the road, take it.  

We tried both.  We never made it to either.

Unprecedented BLM humor?

John. 

John owns 80 acres right there in the desert.  [*swoon*]  We met him on the way out when we waved.  He hollered DID YOU FIND ANY GEODES?  Then he waved us into his "yard" to pick out some from big piles.  He had them in all stages.  Raw geodes, geodes sawn in half, sawn and polished geodes, tumbled stones.

Scott.

Scott found us a bucket to gather into.

Pedro and Sadie put up a good show, then plopped down in the shade.  First desert law:  conserve barks.

We chatted for half an hour or so.  John has just lost his wife, and Sadie her mom.  They come in for the winter.  If I owned this place I would stay here from the moment I could until the moment I couldn't.  John says he doesn't like to see people leave 'his' desert with long faces and without geodes, so he took care of both.  Annie had Sadie almost to the car in the bucket when I caught her.

I don't know how much internet connection they get out there, five miles from the nearest maintained road, but if you ever read this, John and Scott, you made our day!